Wellness Tools

Some of the most common coping skills and/or wellness tools people share with others include things like: Counting to 10, Deep Breathing and Positive Affirmations.  But unfortunately, it has been my experience that while these can be helpful they more often they are simply spouted off without any real consideration on effectively using them. In an effort to help others understand the benefits of these skills I would like to provide some guidance and break down the process I’ve used myself to better explain how they can be put into practice.

                           Counting to 10 (or some other predetermined number)

The basic idea behind this is to take a step back and collect your thoughts, especially when you find yourself feeling angry or some other difficult emotion prior to saying or doing something that will cause more problems.  Often times the best way to avoid further conflict is to remove yourself from the situation, but as that is not always possible Counting to 10 is an easy substitute.   Close your eyes, if you are in an environment where it is safe to do so, and slowly inhale through your nose.  On the exhale, say the number and then repeat the process until you find yourself able to calmly engage again.  

Often I have that while I may still be feeling the anger, frustration, embarrassment, etc. by counting it helps me to regain my composure so I can more effectively communicate.  And if possible find a way to be excused from the situation to prevent further escalation.

Deep Breathing

Breathing, in particular deep breathing, can be a very effective way to help you alleviate stress, tension and other emotions (including anger).  Breathing is a natural response so most people take it for granted.  But deep breathing is different.  The problem with this is that people don’t often understand the difference.  It is helpful if you can close your eyes to help you focus on your breath.  Slowly Inhale through your nose, pulling the breath all they down to your diagram/belly, for a count of four and hold that breath for a count of four.  Next you want to slowly release that breath through your mouth, again for a count of 4 and then repeat the process.  One of the greatest benefits of deep breathing is that it can help release the tension in your muscles and clear your head.  This is especially helpful if you find yourself fighting a panic/anxiety attack or Aspie meltdown.  Not always easy to accomplish but with the assistance of others it can be a great way to find your center.

Positive Affirmations

This is another skill that on the surface seems simple enough but in reality takes practice and is often more difficult that people realize.  People are largely a product of their environment and for those who have lived with a steady stream of negative messages it can often be difficult to recognize the positive.  

Negative messages are different from negative self-talk.  Messages are external and the things we tell others about their reality.  If a person is used to an environment where they are constantly told they aren’t good enough, will never be able to accomplish their goals, etc. that becomes their reality and the future messages from others will be filter through this reality.  In other words, if a person is used to negative messages they positive messages are not likely to break through their barriers and will be filtered out because they don’t fit the image they have of themselves.

But by encouraging them to create and recite their own positive affirmations over time they can start break down their own barriers and learn to allow those positive messages to filter through.

Each of these skills are a great addition to anyone’s wellness toolbox but there are plenty of others that are helpful too.  Please feel free to share yours and together we can support one another’s recovery.