Platinum Rule

When we were kids we were taught to follow the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have done unto you.  Makes sense right, to treat others the way you wanted to be treated. But what if it doesn’t really work that way?


My father’s birthday and Father’s Day usually end up falling within a couple days of each other, on some years even falls on the same day.  As a result, the two typically get thrown together and we celebrate his birthday and Father’s Day together.  If you were to ask him he doesn’t really care one way or the other, especially his birthday, but I still make a point of trying to make it a special day for him because he deserves to be celebrated.

On a typical day, he makes dinner (in large part because he beats me to the kitchen most days and seems to enjoy doing it) so every year on either Father’s Day or his birthday I make him a special dinner.  This year I made him some ribeye steaks, baked potatoes and corn on the cob with a black forest cake for dessert because when I asked him (after a bit of prodding) that’s what his favorite meal is.  Now if I were to treat my father the way I want to be treated the menu would have been completely different.  We would have had grilled fish, homemade mashed potatoes and broccoli with a carrot cake for dessert because that’s my idea of a special occasion meal.  But it wasn’t my birthday, it was his and wanted to make sure he got his favorite meal as a way to say thanks for all that he does.

Another example of how the Golden Rule falls short would be if I were to offer that same meal I made for my father to one of my friends who happens to be a vegetarian.  But would she actually be able to enjoy it given the fact that she doesn’t eat meat? Or would it be a better option if I were to fix her an amazing vegetarian meal (even though I would probably starve to death if I attempted an all veggie diet) because that’s what she likes?

We need to start teaching our children, and remember ourselves, that the Platinum Rule is a better method of interacting with others.  On the surface the Golden Rule works and teaches us to treat others with respect.  But when we dig a little deeper we begin to realize that it actually teaches us to view others through our perceptions instead of taking the time to connect with the other person to find out what works best for them. By doing so I believe we can start to break down some of the barriers that have been created by the “Us vs. Them” mentality that seems to be so prevalent in our society today.  We can work at making the shift toward celebrating the diversity of our differences while at the same time embracing the similarities to create a stronger community.