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Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Two years ago I did a "Thankfulness" photo project.  The idea was to create a list of the things I was thankful for and then each day grab the camera and create a series of photos to illustrate them.  At times it was a little more difficult than anticipated.  There were days where I wasn't up to the challenge so I skipped them and came back later to play "catch up".  By the end of November 2017, I had series of photos that represented the things I was thankful for that year.

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Recently I shared about what it feels like to be living life on an emotional rollercoaster and dealing with uncontrollable mood swings and the challenges that it presents.  Part of the reason I started this blog was because I wanted a way to be open and honest with my experiences instead of trying to hide behind the mask afraid to share my truth.

This past week has been an interesting journey.  There have days when thing seemed to be on a fairly even plane. Then there were other days when I was afraid of hitting my breaking point.  But today I want to share about an experience I had last Friday.

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Have you ever found yourself on an emotional roller coaster where you find yourself swinging from one extreme to another with little to no warning?  Going from being relatively ok one minute to fighting back tears and feelings of complete hopeless the next.  Or suddenly finding yourself filled with an uncontrollable rage for no apparent reason.  That has been my life for the last few weeks.  The hardest part of it all is that I don't understand why it's happening.  I watch myself doing and saying things that make no sense and feeling like watching someone else.

One of the most difficult things right now is feeling like I'm fighting a losing battle most days.  I know this isn't who I am and yet it is.  I am working hard to find some sense of peace in mist of the unending chaos.

Friday, November 8, 2019

When I initially started this blog my goal was to publish at least 3 days a week but after within a couple of months I started to realize that was a daunting task.  By the middle of August when my schedule started to get a bit more chaotic it ended up on the back burner and as a result I didn't post anything for a little over a month.  When I started it back up my goal was to post at least once a week but life once again got in the way and as result there was another month long gap between posts.  Since then I've been able to maintain the minimum of 1/week schedule but tonight I wanted to throw in a "bonus" post for the week.

The reason is simple: 

The last few months I have been struggling with some physical and mental health issues. While I still believe that it's 99% all in my head others around me aren't as convinced and as a result have been helping me to try and get things figured out.  It's been an adventure, especially dealing with the insurance but hopefully we will have some answers soon (even if it does turn out to be all in my head).

This past few weeks have been more challenging than I want to admit and want to document it because it's part of what living in recovery is.  

Not entirely sure where to start or how much detail I should include so here it goes:

Wednesday, November 6, 2019


The last few months I have been struggling more than I actually want to admit.  I've been trying hard to hide the worst of it from people and throw on a "happy" face because that seems to be what's expected.  But last night things got to a point where I couldn't hide it anymore.  I reached out for help but there is still a part of me that wishes I could have simply figured out how to get through it on my own.  

Thankful for the help that I received last night and more thankful that it didn't escalate further. But still struggling and trying to find a way to simply make it through the day.