The Green Phoenix

From the time I first learned about the “5 Stages of Recovery” back in December 2014 it has been my goal to create a series of photos depicting each stage of my own recovery journey.  The original idea I had for the first stage, “Impact of Illness” was to create a series of portraits taken through a broken piece of glass.  The idea was to set up the camera on one side of the glass and then stand on the opposite side to create the illusion of looking into a mirror. I had intended write the various labels and negative messages (both from others as well as my own internal thoughts/beliefs) that I associated with the “Impact” phase.  I attempted on multiple occasions to find a way to create these images but after years of frustration and not finding a safe and effective way to do I put the project to the side.

Then something kind of amazing happened.  I was driving to a speech contest and found myself thinking about how living with a mental illness has impacted my life, how others start to treat me differently once they find out and how my own self-image has been colored by it at times. As I was thinking through it, and mentally preparing myself for the speech I would be delivering later that day, I was struck with inspiration and the answer to how I could safely and effectively illustrate the “Impact of Illness” stage of recovery using “Hello, my name is…” labels.

In the beginning people simply know me as Heather:

But once they discover I have a mental illness they start to treat me differently. 

I become the diagnosis instead:  

Or worse…

One the most difficult things to understand is the way that the media chooses to portray mental illness. Especially after there has been a mass shooting and suddenly I’m a person to be feared…

But the reality is I am still the same person.