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The stage of recovery is, “Life is Limited”.    They have moved past the initial impact and have started to identify themselves by the perceived limitations caused by their diagnosis.  This is the phase where people have essentially given up on their lives getting better.  The stigma associated with the illness and symptoms of their illness has created a new self-image.  One in which they believe they are no longer capable of living the life they once had.  The “Life is Limited” stage of recovery is living a life without hope. 

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These images may be difficult for some people to view.  Please know no was injured and while they do depict self-harm:

I started the Hello, My Name is... project in 2018 in part because I wanted to give others the opportunity to share their own lived experiences with the stigma associated with mental illness.  I used the photos I took as a way for me to illustrate the "Impact of Illness" stage as a template for others to follow to show the progression but they each created the labels based on their personal experiences.  During the shoots I only referred to the people by the labels created and attached themselves to help evoke the thoughts and emotions caused by the diagnosis or phrases that all too often become part of our identity.

From the time I first learned about the “5 Stages of Recovery” back in December 2014 it has been my goal to create a series of photos depicting each stage of my own recovery journey.  The original idea I had for the first stage, “Impact of Illness” was to create a series of portraits taken through a broken piece of glass.  The idea was to set up the camera on one side of the glass and then stand on the opposite side to create the illusion of looking into a mirror. I had intended write the various labels and negative messages (both from others as well as my own internal thoughts/beliefs) that I associated with the “Impact” phase.  I attempted on multiple occasions to find a way to create these images but after years of frustration and not finding a safe and effective way to do I put the project to the side.

There have times in my life when I thought I understood what true confidence felt like. But then I’d be faced with a new obstacle only to have that feeling complete wash away. I have found myself here yet again. Questioning everything I thought I knew. Feeling so completely lost, confused and scared. There is part of me that feels like I will never be good enough. That believes no matter how hard I work I will always come up short of my goal. The thing that hurts the most right now, right now in this very moment, is questioning whether I'm doing enough, working hard enough to achieve my goals. The problem is I don’t know how to do more than I'm already doing. But still the questions linger: Did I not reach out soon enough for help? Why can’t I be better building connections? What am I doing wrong? What does true confidence feel like? I wish I knew what it felt to truly believe that: I am good enough. I am strong enough. I am worth enough just the way I am. 

There is a common misbelief that self-care is selfish but in reality it is vital to maintaining our wellbeing and avoiding burnout. It’s not about putting our own needs above the needs of others but instead taking time to simply take care of yourself.  For some this can be difficult to understand. 

Creating SMART goals with IMPACT

 The idea of S.M.A.R.T. goals was first introduced in 1981 by George T. Doran as tool to writing goals out with the purpose of increasing the chances of completing them. 

      S- Specific:  It is important to be specific with what you want to achieve.  When we create goals that our too broad it makes it more difficult to focus on what we are trying to work on.  Think about using the 5-W's (Who, What, Where, When, Why) when creating your goals.  For example: Who will be able to assist you with different aspects of your goal? Where you will be working on the goal or using a specific event as a deadline? What is it that you are trying to accomplish? When would you like to accomplish this by (which will be covered more in the T- Time Sensitive section) Why do you want to work on this goal?

    M- Measurable: This allows you to have a defined metrics that can be used to determine whether or not you have achieved your goal. It also provides a tangible method to gauge your progress and allows you the opportunity to break down larger goals into smaller chunks with easily definable milestones which allow you to celebrate smaller successes as you work toward a larger achievement.

     A- Achievable: This is important because the purpose of setting goals to work toward accomplishing what you set out to do.  While you want to challenge yourself, you also want to make sure the goals you set are achievable.  Goals should be used as a way to motivate you to step outside of your comfort zone and grow.  If you don't feel that you currently possess the tools/skills needed to achieve your goals think about how you can develop them.

     R- Relevant:  Focus your goals on something that is relevant to you.  Whether you are creating a professional goal or a personal goal it is important to make sure that you are invested in achieving the goals you make for yourself.  We make time for the things in life that we care about.  Whereas we make excuses and find ways to avoid the doing things we don't care about or simply don’t want to do.  The key is to shift your perspective. Instead of looking at it is something you "HAVE" to do, flip it around and make it something you "GET" to do instead.  Making your goals are relevant helps to keep you motived to see it through, especially through the rough spots.

     T- Time Bound: It's important to ensure you give yourself a deadline to work toward.  When we set goals without a deadline it makes it a lot easier to push them to the side to work on other things instead.  This greatly reduces the likelihood of achieving your goals.  Giving your goals a deadline creates a sense of urgency but it’s important to ensure that the deadline is achievable.  If you're working on a larger goal, break it into smaller chunks and provide a deadline for those as well.  This will serve as a way to give the sense of urgency but at the same time make it a more manageable goal and increase your chances of succeeding.

Using the S.M.A.R.T. system is a great way to create and stay focused on achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.  But there is a way to take it to the next step and create goals that are not only S.M.A.R.T. but also have IMPACT.

I first introduced the concept of creating goals with IMPACT in 2015 when I attended WHAM (Whole Health Action Management) training.  

I- Improve: When you’re creating a goal it’s important to think about how it’s going to improve your situation.  By understanding and recognizing how your goals will improve some aspect of your life you will be more likely to stick with it.

M- Measurable: Similar to above, making your goal measurable provides both you and your support system a way to determine what progress has been made toward accomplishing the goal you have created for yourself.

P- Positively stated: Focusing your goals on creating something new in your life as opposed to something removing something makes it easier to stay motivated.  For example, instead: “I want to lose X pounds” you were to create a goal that stated, “I want to start running again.”  

A- Achievable: One of the key elements to creating effective goals is ensure they are achievable.  You want to push yourself outside of your comfort zone in order to grow, but if you want to careful not to make goals that are not obtainable.  When you create your goals gauge your confidence scale of being able to complete it. If you score less than 7/10 examine the goal and find a way to restate to create a goal that is achievable.  

C- Call forth actions: By creating goals that are relevant to your life you are more likely to stay motivated to accomplish those goals.  A call to action provides you with the method you plan to take to ensure you follow through the goals you have set.

T- Time limited: Deadlines provide a sense of urgency and increase the motivation to complete those goals.  But it is also important to create a start time as well.  By providing yourself with a specific date you will start working toward your goal it reduces the temptation to push it to the side.  

It’s been over a year since I last attempted to run.  Now while this may seem all that significant to some, it is to me.  Growing up I was an athlete.  To be honest, it didn’t really matter what sport it was, although soccer has always been my favorite, I just loved being a part of a team and pushing myself physically to see how far I could go.

We moved around a lot when I was growing up and playing sports also gave me a chance to meet other kids.  Not really sure I had friends necessarily but being a part of a team at least let me feel like I had a place where I belonged.  Even though I was cut from the soccer team my freshman year of high school I didn’t let that stop me and was one of the players that helped start the girls’ team my sophomore year in spite of them telling us there wasn’t enough interest. I still remember the first game of that year when we had to wear the old practice football jerseys because the school didn’t provide us uniforms. Afterwards, one of the parents sponsored our team but that first game was definitely one to remember.  We lost every game that first season, but it didn’t matter because we stuck together and never gave up.

When I was younger, I never particularly enjoyed running but as I got older and quickly came to realize my days of playing team sports were over I found solace in running, especially once I was able to again after having ankle surgery to repair the ligaments and remove a bone chip in 2012.

I slowly started to run in 2013, after being encouraged by a friend to attempt a 5k with her.  I agreed and while I wasn’t able to complete it found myself hooked.  At the beginning of 2014, I set a goal for myself to complete at least one 5k a month.  Was doing fairly well until Labor Day weekend when I managed to fall off a curb on the last night of Dragon Con (still don’t actually remember what happened though) and sprained my “good” ankle. By October I had to concede defeat and accept that it was time to get the left ankle fixed which meant that I was through running for the rest of the year.

The recovery process was difficult, especially after becoming more active, and to be honest I probably pushed myself too hard, too fast once I was allowed to get back out and start training again.  I found myself in a love/hate relationship with running and eventually found a local running group which gave me the chance to be a part of a “team” again.  

Unfortunately, in February 2017 I tore the meniscus in my right knee (also discovered I have arthritis in both knees). Then I was rear-ended at the end of April of the same year.  I didn’t let it completely stop me from running but it definitely slowed me down.  Last year I decided I wanted to refocus and attempt my original goal of completing at least one 5k a month after having to take several months off.

I started off doing fairly well, even though I had significantly reduced my training I was still able to at least complete a 5k.  But overtime the pain in my knee became unbearable and I once again conceded defeat on my 40^thbirthday when I barely crossed the finish line at my last completed 5k.  Earlier this I decided I was going to start training again and signed up for a 5k in June which was cancelled due to weather. (Apparently running when there’s lighting outside is a bad idea).  Then life got in the way.  But I have decided to recommit myself and start training next month once my schedule will be a little more manageable.  

Going to start slow and build up over time.  The key will be to ensure that I remember to use the SMART system when I set up my goals moving forward.  But more about that next time.