Last night I had to make a really difficult decision and decided to walk away from Toastmasters for a little while. It wasn't an easy decision and while it hurts like hell I know it was the right thing to do.
I don't regret my decision this morning even though in some ways it was made fairly quickly. The truth is I've been struggling for months and need a break. I honestly thought I was ready to take the next step in my leadership journey but after realizing that I wasn't getting the support I needed from those above me (and in some cases felt like I was actually getting torn down even further than I already am) I decided to make a clean break.
For those of you who truly know me, you know that when I commit to something I don't walk away easily. I take my commitments and responsibilities seriously, even when it's only a volunteer position. But at the end of the day I realized that I need to start taking better care of myself. I need to make my mental, emotional and physical health a priority instead of letting other people's needs come before my own.
I realize this may not be the best place to share this stuff but I needed to put it out there. I needed to show people that it's ok to walk away from something you care about when it starts to become a toxic environment.
I'm mourning the loss this morning I have no regrets in the decision I made and that's ok too. Not going to let it keep down. Instead I'm going to refocus my time and energy into doing the things I need to do get healthy and start working on some of the personal projects I've been neglecting.
I don't regret my time in Toastmasters, quite the opposite in fact. It was a huge part of my journey and helped me to develop some of the skills and projects I'm working on now. Down the road I may go back but for now it's time for me to move on.
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