I recently discovered that I actually like spinach as long as it's not cooked to the point of mushiness. The other day one the way home I was hungry and decided to swing by the store to pick some stuff up to make breakfast with and on a whim decided to make a breakfast burrito and add some spinach so getting some more veggies in my diet.
Everyday since they I have added spinach and mushrooms to some scrabbled eggs with a little bit of cheese for breakfast. I was hungry when I got home earlier and decided to make a couple of quesadillas for lunch. Normally it's just cheese but this afternoon figured I'd throw some spinach in there with it. Was actually kind of surprised how much I liked it.
Now I realize this might seem like kind of weird thing to share in a blog post but there is a purpose behind it...
The last few months have been filled with a LOT of changes and it's been kind of hard to deal with them all. Due to the pandemic and subsequent quarantine caused by the COVID-19 virus my routine was completely hijacked, along with the rest of the world. I've always struggled with change and the lack of structure was a definite challenge. The last several month have felt like a never ending roller coaster ride and one of the most frustrating things has been the constant state of change. Not only from the events that are affecting our society as a whole, but also due to some significant changes that have occurred in my personal life (some as a result of the pandemic but also a lot of other stuff that was beyond my control).
The past couple of weeks have been especially difficult:
- Weekly Bible study has been put on hold and won't be meeting during the month of July (which has been part of my routine and opportunity to get out of the house on a regular basis)
- Uncertain on whether I still have a therapist (and the very least taking a 3 week break after seeing her 2x a week for several months now)
- Lost my job coach (which is a bit frustrating because feels like I have to start over yet again)
- Dragon Con was cancelled/switched to a Virtual Con (I've been going every year since 2012 and volunteering since 2013)
In an effort to try to regain some control in my life I decided to start focusing on "doing" instead getting stuck "thinking" all of the time. Over the last few months I've found some sense of solace in exploring some of the various State Parks and other hiking trails in the area which has been great. There is just something about being outside, surrounded by nature and pushing myself physically that helps clear my head. Granted it doesn't always work, but more times than not it does.
I know that if I want to live a healthier lifestyle, get back to a healthy weight/size and be able to enjoy doing the physical stuff that has always been important to me I need to start taking better care of myself. Truth be told there are really only a handful of veggies I will actually eat, in part because I'm allergic to ALL onions and peppers. There are also certain textures that I can't get past. Part of that is learning to eat properly and this is where the "Spinach Experiment" comes in.
I've eaten spinach before, always raw though because once it's been cooked it turns in a mushy mess and can't handle the texture of it. I found that if you throw it to food (like scrabbled eggs) it cooks down a little but doesn't turn into slime. Heck it even tastes pretty good.
Now if you're wondering what the point of all this gibberish is about...
It's pretty simple actually. Even when the world around you feels like a complete and total chaos you can still find some ways to regain a sense of control. The trick is you have to focus on things you CAN control and make the choice to DO something instead of getting stuck. Right now still struggling and trying to hang on. Sometimes it feels like an impossible task. But I know that tomorrow morning I will get up, go downstairs and make myself some breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs with a little bit cheese, some mushrooms and spinach on toast with a glass of OJ. Even though I don't know what the rest of the day has in store at least get start it with some sense of control. And honestly that makes a world of difference.
So my question for you is:
How are going to regain control over your life even when it feels like you're surrounded by chaos?
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